What is my dream?

I envy those who have a dream. Those who has already fixed on what they wish to do in life, especially those who are still young.

I don't know what I want to do in life. My direction is unclear. I take it as it comes. Gazillion books say that you should already know what you want to do in life. Can I just say that I do not care as long as it is a path that will secure a happy future and give me wealth? I wish to slam that statement into many faces. It is not my fault for being nonchalant towards life. I am born to have feelings less stronger than others.

So you ask me what is my dream? I really wish to tell you, but I really can't. So when people ask, and if I bother to explain, I will take time to explain. Since now I bother to, here goes.

It is only natural for a person who obtained a diploma in law, whether you did well or not, to want to take an LLB. Reasons are simple. Your diploma sounds good. You know what sort of recognition it will gain you. You know that people will naturally look up to you when you mention that you took a law course. Humans are suckers for recognition. Since the natural path for a person who obtained a diploma in law to pursue a law degree, everyone just hops right in.

However, people like me, who are not financially capable of doing so, are in trouble. Our natural, planned route is cut off, and results are not fantastic, what should we do?

We work.

We hope that with our luck, we are able to have someone recognise our soft skills. Recognise that we have the capability to produce more than the scholars even though we lack of certain knowledge, which actually is not an issue at all. We are not slow, we just mature later than others in life. Therefore, we appear lazier.

So what do I hope to do? I seek recognition/appreciation for the work I do for others, in exchange for mentorship, which is why I cannot tell you what my dream is. It really depends on who I have as mentors in life. Whether or not I pursue law in the future, that is entirely another story.

Those who read, don't ask me why I did not pursue a law degree. Do not ask me if I intend to or not. Do not ask me what is my interest or dream. Do not try and explain that these will lead to greatness in my life, and that work will seem like gameplay. I listened to all these cliche nonsense since I stopped sucking my thumb. Why not try asking me what is my plan to get out of this rat race, and advise me when I say, "I DO NOT KNOW".

Lunar New Year

That's it. Chinese New Year has ended. Just like that. It makes me wonder what is all the anticipation is about. There is nothing special to it. All the rush rush, and gatherings with family members who care less about you. It has all become nothing but a procedure. Chinese New Year is here, so we must do this this this and this. Ok. Now done. Back to work.

The rest of a hardworker is sweet. I worked hard, why did this rest felt empty?

When will the world learn that taichi is more than what you see in the park?

Girls Are Sensitive.

That's utter bullshit when you are only sensitive to what people say and not sensitive to what you do or say. So don't give me that crap, I won't buy that shit. That's called insensible. Nonsensical. Emotionally unstable.

I don't have enough emotional capacity to play with your games. So if you say or do something insensitive, and you get all emotional when I say something directly back at you, then that's really too bad. You are not sensitive enough to mind your words.

Don't tell me shit like 'if you love someone, you have to accept everything'. I am a fucking realist. You don't accept everything. You just get used to it and live with it. That's why quarrels happens and that's why people are still together despite all the quarrels. So don't tell me that bullshit because, if I have to accept everything of you, then accept that I retaliate with such comments when you give me nonsense. Don't give me all that emotional crap for nothing and expect some pampering.

Accept that.