2012, Here I Come.

"When you hit rock bottom, there's only 1 direction you can go. And that is up."

And I can only go up.

Primary School Friends

I just came back from a meeting of my primary school friends. They are all doing extremely good. Sometimes, I just cannot believe that we actually grew up together. Some are in NUS, NTU, SMU, some are working and are doing well and I realised that I made the least progress among the guys. Most went to JC, went to army early, came out and already in their last year of studies. I just completed my first semester. Some went polytechnic and went ahead to further their studies, now in their 3rd year, but I just completed my first semester. Some already graduated and is now working, local and overseas, but I just completed my first semester of studies. Not only that, I am still planning to delay my degree for a year because of my incapabilities in my language skills.

I feel ashamed and inferior. I used to be the promising student. I told myself enough of the crap that "it is okay to fall behind", "it is okay to fall down", "you shouldn't be giving yourself so much pressure". Look where I am standing now. I am supposed to be in Liverpool doing my LLB. Cheers for being poor. Fuck my life.

Back to my friends, sometimes, I feel kinda awkward sometimes because my ex-girlfriend of 3 years is there. Just to fill your curious minds, we didn't talk, just smiled to each other before we left. My best friend in Primary school was there too. We somehow remembered a little here and there of all the shit we did before, but all of us moved on with our lives.

It is interesting how we grew up but traces of our characters as we know each other in primary school are still there.

Something worth mentioning was my primary school teacher. She knew my brother, sister and mom. It hit me when she didn't remember my name, but she slowly recalled who I was later in the outing. I was, as usual, the good boy in her eyes. In fact, in most person's eyes.

It is late and I shall end off here. Below is the group photo of us.

We met, chat, laughed and left for our individual lives once again. May they all do brilliantly in their lives. Every god, bless them.

Caged.

I woke up this morning and I felt so cooped up at home as if the air in here is not fresh anymore. I just want to go out and bask in the sun, perspire and feel tired.

It is weird because I love to stay at home, and I just went for a BBQ yesterday.

Martial arts didn't teach me to fight loneliness.

2 words to describe martial arts. Lonely, exhaustive.

I am not referring to mix-martial art because that is not exactly martial arts. They just make you real fit and teach you to wallop someone skillfully. And, this is the concept behind most martial arts nowadays like Muay Thai, Taekwondo, Karate, etc. But there is much more than that, and only by stepping deeper, will you understand what I am referring to. At that point, you will feel stuck, because you cannot quit, and it really burns you to press on.

I wish I took music instead of this. It appears classier and more socially accepted.

How do you know they even care.

Another aspect of dilemma is the one from the heart. Sometimes, there are frustrating situations that bothers you and how nice it would be for you to talk to someone. But talking to someone means you have to explain the whole situation on top of your frustration before anyone can understand you. It is fucking irritating but that is the most ideal situation.

Sometimes, they just don't get your point or think that it is not an issue and return you with nonchalant remarks. When that happens, you wished that you had just shut up.

To say or not to say sometimes is not about protecting anyone's privacy, it's about whether you can handle what handed back to you.

I choose not to say.

OMG, 1 boy died.

And so, 1 casualty in the run yesterday. It's a sad thing. Not like the marathon is something worth doing. Before doing it, why don't you read an excerpt from Wikipedia about marathons:

"The name Marathon comes from the legend of Pheidippides, a Greek messenger. The legend states that he was sent from the battlefield of Marathon to Athens to announce that the Persianshad been defeated in the Battle of Marathon (in which he had just fought), which took place in August or September, 490 BC. It is said that he ran the entire distance without stopping and burst into the assembly, exclaiming "Νενικήκαμεν" (Nenikékamen, 'We have won.') before collapsing and dying."

HE DIED PEOPLE!

Yes, he did fight a war before that, but he probably trained for quite a period of time. So if you are not sure whether you can survive/complete the run, don't run. If you want to try, don't over push yourself. Rushing into something this tedious is testing your life, not endurance. Endurance comes only when you are fit enough to survive.

Live to fight another day.

Or else, just take taichi, or martial arts. Tedious, but controlled. Call me at 92717437 for more info, or drop by at our school at Eastgate building, just beside roxy square along East Coast Road. Level 5. Gentle Studios.

HAHA!

Standard Charted 2011

It's Standard Charted 2011 tomorrow. For all those running, check out the video below, I believe that it will be an inspiration for you to push to the end tomorrow. For people who decided that tomorrow is your last hardcore running session, please continue for your health. Running is a good hobby.

Sometimes coincidentally (or not), your world of friends are out with other friends on weekends and you realise that "hey, i will be alone tonight." That kinda suck, but I believe I should treasure this alone time, because not every gets this chance.

Necessity has promoted.

I know that the necessity has became imminent because I thought of a better argument after the examination.

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FML!

Necessity For Failure

Failure is not an option, it is a necessity.

Check this site out:

http://www.necessity4failure.com

I am going for my exams now. Although its only a few days ago that I realised that I cannot write an academic essay well, but it is a necessity.

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FML. =D

Maybe, it is not too late..

After 23 years, I probably only just realized that I have failed in most aspects of my life, even the one that I used to take pride in.

I thought I was good at kicking, but only yesterday did I realize that I cannot even do a proper front kick. After so many years of Kungfu, I am still not the fighter all others became.

I thought I can study and write well. But only recently did I realize that no matter how brilliant my ideas are, I cannot articulate them. I thought I could perform well at work and rise quickly, but all I had landed myself in are shitty jobs with no prospects.

I thought I have my life all planned and sorted out, but it doesn't seem to be the case.

Sometimes, I console myself by saying "hey, at least I am not that bad looking", but when I look in the mirror, that is no longer a consolation I can use.

All the "I thought"s and "but"s in my life. I really think that I am a failure all these while.

Why am I still not training hard enough?

一失足成千苦恨。

Feeling lazy to type more than I should..

I feel like talking about the dilemma I have. But when I land my fingers on the keyboard, and realise the amount I have to type to explain it clearly, deters me.

So I shall not.

Friends.

I have wonderful friends around me, even though some of us just talk nonsense all the time. I really appreciate it when they SMS to ask to catch up whenever they are less busy. Last week, one of my army friends SMS-ed me to ask me out for a meal. Yesterday, another asked to catch up. Just less than 10minutes ago, another SMS-ed me to wished my mom well after reading my blog.

Some of them are listeners. When you got problems, you can give them a call to discuss about it. They are always there to listen to you. Very patient people.

Some of them are competitors. They love to brag about how good and tough they are, how interesting their life is and often act as the superior being as compared to you. They are nice people who tells you stuff.

Some of them are the sufferers. They are forever telling you that their life is tough, they are not coping well, but in fact, they are actually pretty fine. They are people who confides in you. A trust in there.

Some are plain helpful. They offer you help whenever you are put in a spot. They are a fantastic group of people. Sometimes, I feel that they are too good for a person of my calibre.

Of course, above is just a summary of friends everyone has and all of us are "cross-breeds".

I have a variety of good enough friends, which I am proud of. However, not everything can be listened to and understood by others. It is not because they are not up to the standard (if there is even any), but when you tell them, you get a I-don't-know-what-you-are-talking-about response, it feels like you are back to square one again.

Anyway, I feel quite lazy to continue blogging. Shall continue in my next post.

HuaTiong Qigong (Part 2)

Watch how the sledge hammer broke at the end. This is no joke.

Once again, seniors, monsters.

HuaTiong Qigong (Part 1)

All these are done while lying on a bed of nails. That stone is a granite slab, and it is 115kg per piece.

My seniors are monsters.

Nếu Như Anh Đến

A nice song I heard from Vietnam. I think it means "If The Day You Come".

Somehow, the female extra in blue, looks much prettier than the singer.

World Lei Tai Championship.

I am so excited, I really want to join and beat the shit out of everybody. But I feel like a useless fool now. I probably think too highly of myself. I only have a year to prepare, get in shape and fight. Others however, have been constantly training.

I WAS a champ. Not anymore, and I hate it when there are constantly expectations and words to put me at the category where I can fight and take on anyone.

I CAN'T NOW!

I just want to train at my own pace.. but I am not allowed to do that anymore. Everything has to step up 3 folds..

Disgusting People.

I hate it when I decide to be considerate and chivalrous (depending on who) and not sit on a vacated seat, some foreign looking asshole, young punk or desperate working adult rush and plant their fat asses on.

Can't these idiots be more socially sensitive? These seats are obviously given up for people who needs it more, or the ladies. If it was meant for anyone and everyone, we would have just sat down and you wouldn't get any chance since we saw them first.

The worst part is, some people still give the victorious look.

Mismatch.

There is nothing wrong in being fat, but to all fat people in tight clothing, whatever you are trying to show or fail to hide, it is time for you people to know that it is terrible.

I didn't choose to see, you are just painfully eye-catching and not easy to hide.

Mom.

My mom admitted into hospital today in preparation for a heart operation, which she nearly died the previous time. 2 days ago, when my mom was beginning to do up the study room, I went over to lend her a hand, like I always do.

I DIY-ed a rack from IKEA with my mother's help. It was then I realised that my mom is old. She used to do all these effortlessly (or is it effort I didn't take time to appreciate). Age is stealing her away. I continued with moving the study table, fixing up 2 computers, sorting out the wiring. After all the heavy stuff, my mom is slowly sorting out her stuff, deciding which to rid of.

Knowing that there is nothing much I can do anymore, I told my mom that I am heading for a shower. My mom thanked me and said, "I think this is the first time, out of all these years, you helped me with stuff like that."

How can it be possible? I always help out.

Nope, it is true. It really is my first time. I was shocked at myself, by myself. I haven't been a good son, yet I thought I've always been one. FML.

I went to visit my mom at the hospital after work and my mom asked me, "how much do you need to go overseas to study?" the next thing she talked to me about was "remember, find job must have CPF." All she had in mind was about me and my future. Not about her. Not about what she is going to do when she leave the hospital. Neither is it about how she felt about the coming operation. It's a major one! Instead, she smiled and urged us to go home because it is getting late.

And I.... can hardly find a picture with her.

If being a son was a test, I ought to be kicked out of the examination ground.

Please pray for my mom. May she pull through this operation. All gods bless her. Thank you.

"He's not perfect, you aren't either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn't going to quote poetry, he's not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don't hurt him, don't change him, and don't expect more than he can give. Don't analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he is not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don't exist, but there is always one guy that is perfect for you."

- Bob Marley.

Brothers are forever.

For the 10,000th time, I love my brother. I believe that we are the closest thing 2 guys, who are not gay, can get, and we are 1 in a million.

Now that he is in Thailand, and it is flooding over there. I pray that he will be back safely, and I hope everyone reading this will pray for his safety as well. Thank you all.

Majority wins?

My primary school teachers used to tell me to think before I speak. That's the reason why your brain is above your mouth.

My secondary school teachers then tell me that I should listen more than I speak. That's the reason why you have 2 ears and 1 mouth.

Now, people are saying follow your heart, not only your brain. However, there is only a heart, but a left brain and a right brain.

Stop

It is so unnecessary to have negative emotions have you, especially when you got work to do. Sometimes, you just want to cut the source out immediately. But being human, there are always considerations that hold you back.

And that sucks.

Love is fantastic, but not for all. When you cannot keep the fantasy, maybe you should consider whether you are suitable to have a devoted one because in the end, it is 2 persons you hurt instead of one.

Every Wondered How Apple Became the Apple Today?

1976: Apple 1

1977: Apple 2

1980: Apple 3

1983: Lisa

1984: Macintosh: 128k Computer

1986: Macintosh Plus

1990: Macintosh Classic

1990: Macintosh LC

1991: Macintosh Classic 2

1997: Power Mac G3

1998: iMac G3

2002: iMac G4

2004: iMac G5

2009: iMac

How Bad Do You Want It?

A pill of motivation.

How Bad Do You Want It from Greyskale Multimedia on Vimeo.

Life in Asia

The country's transition from poverty to wealth in less than a generation has turned us into helpless slaves.

Stop. And Think.

If we pause, and take a longer time than others to make certain decisions, it is only because we are fearful.

Choices shape us. How can we not?

New, Fresh, Green.

New, fresh and green, and back to square one.

Have you ever made choices midway through your life and realised that you are back at where you are before the previous choice was made?